My Trending Stories.

Dearest lads and ladies,

I’ve been asked to be a contributing writer for My Trending Stories! Excitement ensues. I’m just starting out but, my content will feel very familiar to all you lovely humans who follow me on here.

I haven’t yet decided how I’m going to streamline my content so, for now, I’m posting where it feels right. I’ll still be using WordPress and I will be posting different things on each site.

If you care to see those articles, here is the link to my profile page over there. And I hope to see some of you there with me!

Thanks for keeping up with me xx

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Missing home.

I am good at long distance. Always have been. Maybe I’m a bit too callous or I’ve always had more of a free spirit but, I am good at long distance. I don’t often miss people. I don’t miss familiarity. I don’t miss my bed or my posters or the smell of my home.

Then again, I’ve never really lived away from home like this. I’ve travelled for lengthy periods. I’ve stayed in my university town for months at a time without so much as a one night visit home. But now I’m 3000 miles away. More than that. And I can’t just drive back. I have to plan. Book a flight. Fly in a metal machine across a giant ocean.

And I am missing home. I’m missing the drive down to Tim Hortons to grab a bad but, cheap cup of coffee. I’m missing the Friday nights with the people I have been best friends with since grade school. I’m missing sleepovers at my friends’ houses. I’m missing arguing with my family face-to-face instead of over text message and a bad wifi connection.

I’m missing the people who know me best. The places that I find comforting like my church and the book store 5 minutes away and the park up path across from my house and the lakeshore. My room with all my posters of Audrey Hepburn and Johnny Depp and the Beatles and the Friends cast. The stupid white shirt with the swallows on it that I couldn’t find before coming back to Ireland.

The cheap sushi restaurants in the city I lived in for two years. The absolutely abysmal subway where one line breaks down and the whole system falls apart. The neighbourhoods that I used to explore on Sundays. The streets whose names I know. The barista that always knew I wanted a skinny white peppermint mocha with no whip and no foam. The Jays fans invading all of downtown in their jerseys and caps. Everything.

I am good at long distance. But recently, I am not.

I’m done.

I’m done hearing that 50 people have been murdered while they were enjoying themselves on a night out. I’m done hearing that a school was put on lockdown because of a suspected shooter. I’m done hearing about people dying in the cinema because they chose to watch a film. I’m done hearing about concert goers and singers being shot at venues when they come together to appreciate art. I’m done hearing about it all.

The mass murders. The shooting sprees. The planned attacks. I can’t do it anymore. My heart is aching. It doesn’t stop. Every day I wake up and see another article about another shooting. About one person who is suspected to be motivated by the Islamic State. Or about a person with mental health difficulties who had access to a gun. Or about a kid picking up his father’s gun and going to school.

It needs to stop. These are senseless acts perpetuated by loopholes in buying guns. Loopholes that should have been resolved after the first shooting, or better yet, before the first one. I cannot understand a government that has had 133 mass shootings in a span of seven years and does nothing.

This is me, standing up and saying that gun violence needs to end. And the solution is simple: stricter gun laws. Japan has one of the world’s most stringent gun laws that include a class, a mental health test, a drug test, and a rigorous background check. The result? A grand total of 6 deaths by firearm* in in 2014.

Like I said, a simple solution.

I don’t live in the US and likely never will because, frankly, the gun violence scares me. But if you do and you’re reading this, educate yourself on the laws and loopholes. And then call your senators. Speak up for those who no longer can because they’ve been killed by a firearm. Help make a change.

This organisation does an excellent job of giving facts and resources to do just that. Join the movement. End gun violence. And hopefully we’ll live in a happier world.

I’m not made to please men.

“Things You’re Doing to Turn Off Your Guy.”
“53 Ways to Make Him Want You.”
“What You’re Doing Wrong in Bed.”
“All The Reasons You’re Still Single.”

Those are the kinds of headlines that I’m faced with every single time I scroll down my Facebook feed, my Twitter timeline and any blogging site. And it infuriates me. Rarely do I see articles about the ways guys turn off girls or the things a guy should do in bed to please a woman or the reasons why a guy is eternally single.

As women, we are told time and time again that we have to be model fit, able to cook, witty, confident, intelligent, go-getters, sex vixens and a hundred more things. And it’s all coming from the media.

This morning, I read a post about the 10 things women do to turn off men. Their biggest turn offs. It went from us complaining at dinner to us not liking their friends to us trying to change them to us getting jealous. And I got angrier than I’ve ever been before. Because yes, I do these things. I hate on my own body and I complain about friends and I dislike the group of guys he hangs out with and I get jealous when he’s looking at another girl while walking down the street. But guess what? Guys do all these things, too.

Never in my life have I met a man who doesn’t complain, who doesn’t tell me that he hates this one particular person in my life, who doesn’t say he needs to go to the gym more. Never in my life have I met a man who doesn’t do all the same things that we women supposedly do to turn them off. But is anyone on my end writing articles about it? Am I seeing “The Things You Do to Turn Off Your Woman”, “40 Ways to Get Her Off” and “Reason Number One You’re Still a Bachelor”? Maybe here and there. But not not nearly as often as I see the opposite.

Instead, it’s all on the women. We’re the ones who have to sacrifice parts of our personality to make men feel better. We’re the one who don’t get to end a long day with a vent session because it’ll be a “turn off”. We’re the ones who deal with guys constantly asking us if our guy best friend is something more. We’re the ones who have to like all his friends and keep the lights on during sex and keep our jealousy in check.

Well, guess what? Women are not made to please men. If it makes me feel better to complain to someone who should care about me at the end of a long day, I’ll do it. If I’m having a bad body image day and point out my food baby and my lack of boobs, I should be supported. If I say my best guy friend is just a friend, I should be trusted. If I get jealous because my guy is looking at a hot girl down that street, that’s completely natural.

There are thousands of things that are going to turn a guy off. But there are a hundred more things that are going to turn him on. And my personality, my body and my life isn’t part of a machine where a man gets to press the right buttons for me to say the right thing so he can pop a boner. The things I do that “turn him off” are a part of who I am. And I wasn’t made to please a man. I was made to please me.